80/365 Schedule of An Unemployed College Graduate

At five years old you start kindergarten, and for the next twelve or so years you have a pretty good idea about where you are going to be from the hours of eight till three. Then if you participate in sports or drama you have another schedule outside of school, and then after high school graduation you usually attend college, which means  another four years of classes and activities. Then you may end up going to graduate school, law school, or medical school and well….. your life follows a plan forever.

But if you’re me, and you decide to cut out that extra school or at least take a break, you may find yourself in the awkward position of being at home on a Tuesday afternoon watching Gilmore Girls reruns. It sounds appealing at first. Not having any obligations, or expectations to be somewhere at a certain time. But then your Tuesday becomes a Wednesday and slowly it feels like this is the rest of your life. A life that you shouldn’t be thousands of dollars in debt to have.

So, what do you do? If you’re me you adopt a dog and try to be as productive as possible, while including breaks for a melt down. I try and find things to keep me busy, and to show that I’m not completely a lazy turd I have decided to write out an example of what my daily schedule looks like:

8:00 AM: Wake up to let Peanut go outside and relieve himself. Pray to god that he hasn’t already relieved himself on the living room carpet.

8:30 AM: Pour dog food into bowl and avoid father’s stare and questions about what I plan on doing with my day, as well as my life.

8:45 AM: Try to fall back asleep as I have nowhere else to be.

8:50 AM: Stare out window because I can’t fall back asleep. Question what I have done with my life, and where I am going.

9:00 AM: Continue to ponder purpose in life while scrolling through social media.

9:30 AM: Watch a YouTube video in the hopes of perking up my spirit, and to give me a laugh to start my day.

9:35 AM: Actually pull myself out of bed to face the day.

10:00 AM: Eat breakfast and begin vicious cycle of thought that includes such gems as, “gosh I’m really starting to get fat.”

10:30 AM: Drink strong cup of black coffee while staring out the window. Resent everyone that walks by, especially if they look happy.

11:00 AM: Finally appease the dog by putting on shoes and agreeing to take him on a walk.

11:15 AM: Pray that no one I know sees me as I’m not wearing a bra, and haven’t brushed my hair.

11:30 AM: Let mind wander as I walk to try and think of something to write on my blog.

11:45 AM: Debate if it’s too early to eat a snack.

11:50: Decide that it’s never too early to eat a snack.

12:00 PM: Sit down at computer and wait for inspiration to strike.

12:15 PM: Still waiting

12:30 PM: And waiting

12:35 PM: Begin writing a blog post.

12:45 PM: Delete everything I have written.

1:00 PM: Finally develop a rhythm and start making progress on something I enjoy talking about.

3:00 PM: Have lunch and wonder how much cheese is too much cheese for a quesadilla.

3:05 PM: Discover that there is no such thing as too much cheese.

3:30 PM: Cry in front of TV as you watch Grey’s Anatomy, because Shonda Rhimes is a a cruel, cruel woman.

3:35 PM: Think of how happy Lexi and Sloane would have been if they had never died in the plane crash. Weep some more.

3:45 PM: Scroll through job listings and discover that you’re not actually qualified for any of these positions.

4:00 PM: Add fake skills to your resume in order to impress future employers. I totally understand HTML and SEO marketing.

4:30 PM: Write bullshit cover letters that will probably go unread.

4:35 PM: Wonder if I should just start writing honest cover letters. “Dear Person In Charge, I would really like a job. I’m desperate and will do anything. Sincerely, Brooke.”

5:00 PM: Send job applications out, and accept the fact that you will probably never hear back from any of the companies.

5:30 PM: Look at more job listings, and discover that you’re over qualified for these positions.

6:00 PM: Eat dinner with family, and try to steer clear of talk about my relationships and career prospects.

6:15 PM: Exchange passive aggressive comments with each other.

7:00 PM: Take refuge in my room, and read a book.

7:15 PM: Realize that I will never be able to write something as meaningful as my favorite authors.

8:30 PM: Watch Gilmore Girls and compare my life to Rory Gilmore. Have a romance with Jess like character? Check. Not get a fellowship/internship that I desperately wanted? check.

9:30 PM: Stare at walls and wallow in self-pity.

10:00 PM: Fall asleep in front of TV while cuddling dog.

~End Scene~

Day Eighty 

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